This or That Questions for Friends: 70+ to Try

You know the feeling — you're hanging out with friends and the conversation dries up, or stays stuck on the same old topics. “This or that” questions are one of the fastest ways to fix that. They're low-pressure, endlessly customizable, and surprisingly good at revealing what people actually value. This guide gives you 70+ this or that questions for friends, organized by mood and moment, plus tips on how to make the game land every single time.

Why “This or That” Works So Well Among Friends

Unlike open-ended questions that can stall when someone freezes, “this or that” forces a choice. That small constraint is the secret ingredient. When you have to pick between coffee and tea, beaches and mountains, or Netflix and a good book, you reveal micro-preferences that spark real follow-up conversations.

Psychologists call this “forced-choice elicitation” — making a binary decision often bypasses social anxiety because the stakes feel low. But the answers are anything but low-stakes. In ten minutes of this game, you can learn more about a person than in an hour of standard small talk.

The 4 Modes of This or That (And When to Use Each)

Not all “this or that” questions belong in the same conversation. Before diving into the full list, here's a quick framework for picking the right mode:

Start with funny, slide into lifestyle, and let values emerge naturally. Trying to open with a deep values question is like starting a meal with dessert — it can work, but it often feels off.

20 Funny This or That Questions for Friends

These are built for laughter. Use them when energy is high or the group needs a warm-up.

1. Tacos or pizza — and you can only eat one for the rest of your life?
2. Show up 30 minutes early everywhere or always 20 minutes late?
3. Have to sing everything you say or speak only in rhymes?
4. Bad breath that only you can smell or body odor that only others can smell?
5. Find out your best friend has been lying to you for years or discover your favorite celebrity is deeply boring in person?
6. Win an argument but be proven wrong later or lose an argument you know you're right about?
7. Live in a treehouse or a houseboat?
8. Hiccup every time you lie or sneeze every time you think of someone you have a crush on?
9. Know the exact date of your death or know the exact cause but not the date?
10. Free flights for life or free food at any restaurant forever?
11. Fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
12. Always have to whisper or always have to shout?
13. Give up showers for a month or give up your phone for a month?
14. Groundhog Day your best day ever or skip ahead five years into a better life?
15. Communicate only by memes or only by voicenotes?
16. Have a photographic memory or the ability to forget anything on demand?
17. Wear a wedding dress or a tuxedo to every casual event for a year?
18. Your pet narrates your life like a nature documentary or your inner monologue is broadcast to the room?
19. Read every book ever written but forget them immediately or remember one book perfectly forever?
20. Be famous for 15 minutes or anonymous but incredibly respected in one small community?

20 Lifestyle & Preference Questions

These reveal how people actually live — great for catching up with friends you haven't seen in a while.

1. Early bird or night owl?
2. Road trip or flight?
3. Cook at home or eat out?
4. Big city or small town?
5. Solo travel or group travel?
6. Text or call?
7. Minimalist apartment or cozy maximalist home?
8. Gym in the morning or evening walk at night?
9. Dogs or cats?
10. Saving money or spending on experiences?
11. Long novel or short story collection?
12. Crowded music festival or intimate live gig?
13. Career-first or lifestyle-first?
14. Rent in a great location or own in a so-so one?
15. Learn a new language or learn a new instrument?
16. Fancy dinner for two or big dinner party with 12 friends?
17. Watch the movie or read the book first?
18. Spontaneous weekend trip or months-of-planning vacation?
19. Coffee shop work session or focused silence at home?
20. Buy experiences or buy things?

For groups who want to explore questions like these more systematically, our friendship conversation cards cover everything from light preferences to deeper values — all designed to spark real dialogue without anyone having to come up with questions on the spot.

15 Questions That Reveal What Friends Actually Value

These feel simple but go deep fast. Use them when the group has settled in.

1. Loyalty or honesty — if you absolutely had to pick one in a friendship?
2. A long life with average health or a shorter life with peak vitality?
3. Be deeply loved by a few or liked by many?
4. Know your purpose early in life or discover it late but fully?
5. Change your past or be able to shape your future?
6. Financial security or total creative freedom?
7. Be remembered after you're gone or be fully present while you're alive?
8. Comfort or growth — which one describes how you actually want to live?
9. Forgive quickly or take your time?
10. Be admired or be understood?
11. Know exactly what people think of you or never know?
12. Give advice or receive it?
13. Lead or support?
14. Stability at the cost of some excitement or adventure with some instability?
15. Close circle of old friends or always meeting new, interesting people?

If these questions land well in your group, the Would You Rather cards take a similar format even further — with carefully crafted dilemmas that push beyond the obvious.

15 Nostalgic & Throwback Questions

Perfect for reunions, friendships that go way back, or any time you want to reminisce.

1. Childhood playground or teenage hangout spot?
2. First phone you owned or the phone you have now?
3. Your best school lunch memory or your worst?
4. Saturday morning cartoons or after-school TV shows?
5. Family road trips or staying home in summer?
6. The friend group you had at 15 or the one you have now?
7. Your childhood bedroom or your first apartment?
8. AIM or MySpace — or neither and you're too young?
9. That one teacher who changed things for you or that one coach/mentor?
10. First concert or most recent concert?
11. Simpler times with less money or now with more but more complicated?
12. The music you loved at 16 or what you listen to today?
13. Letter writing or instant messaging — which feels more meaningful?
14. Old holiday traditions from your family or the ones you've created as an adult?
15. Who you were at 20 or who you are now?

How to Run the Game So It Stays Fun

The questions are only half the equation. Here's what separates a fun round from a forgettable one:

Keep the pace snappy for funny questions. Don't let people deliberate for 90 seconds over whether they'd rather fight a horse-sized duck. Quick answers = more laughs.

Slow down for values questions. Give people a moment. Silence isn't awkward here — it's someone actually thinking.

Rotate who asks. Go around the circle instead of one person running the whole game. Everyone feels more invested.

No explaining required for silly questions. Explaining required for serious ones. Set that expectation early and the game shifts naturally between modes.

Have a “pass” rule but make it rare. Anyone can pass once. This removes anxiety for sensitive questions without turning every hard one into a skip.

For large groups or parties where energy management matters most, check out our night out conversation cards — they're built for exactly that chaotic, high-energy social setting.

Mixing This or That Into Other Conversation Games

“This or that” pairs beautifully with other formats:

• Two Truths and a Lie + This or That: one of the “truths” has to be a revealed “this or that” answer from earlier in the game.
• This or That speed round: set a 10-second timer. Pure instinct, no thinking. Hilarious and revealing.
• Themed rounds: pick a theme — food, travel, relationships, money — and only ask questions in that category for five minutes before switching.
• Reverse it: one person answers, then has to guess what the person to their left would say. Gets competitive and funny fast.

If your friend group loves structured game formats, the family conversation cards work surprisingly well for mixed-age groups and take the guesswork out of which question to ask next.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many “this or that” questions should you ask in one sitting?

For a casual hangout, 15–25 questions hit the sweet spot. Fewer and the game doesn't build momentum; more and it starts to feel like a quiz. If you're mixing modes — funny, lifestyle, values — a full rotation through all four moods takes about 30–40 questions and fills a comfortable hour.

Can you play this or that with just two friends?

Absolutely — and it can be even better with two people because there's nowhere to hide. Both of you answer every question, and you can follow up on anything interesting without worrying about losing the group. It's one of the most natural formats for a one-on-one catch-up over coffee or a long walk.

What makes a good “this or that” question?

A strong question has no obvious “right” answer, creates genuine tension between two appealing (or equally unappealing) options, and ideally reveals something about a person's values or personality. Avoid questions where one option is clearly better — those produce boring answers. The best ones make people pause and say, “oh, that's actually a hard one.”

How do you keep the game from feeling awkward when questions get personal?

Set the tone early with two or three obviously funny questions so the group knows it's a safe, playful space. When you introduce a more personal question, frame it lightly: “Okay, slightly more serious one.” That small cue signals a gear shift without making anyone feel put on the spot. And always model vulnerability yourself — answer the personal ones first and honestly.

Are “this or that” questions good for getting to know new friends?

They're among the best formats for new friendships precisely because the binary structure makes the stakes feel low. A new acquaintance who would freeze at “tell me something meaningful about yourself” will happily debate “hiking or beach?” for five minutes — and accidentally reveal a lot in the process. Start light, build gradually, and you'll know someone surprisingly well by the end of the night.

Give It a Try Tonight

Pick five questions from this list right now — one funny, two lifestyle, one values, one nostalgic. Send them to a group chat and see what happens. Or save the list for your next gathering and watch a quiet evening turn into a two-hour conversation nobody wants to end.

Want something you can pull out without any prep? Our friendship conversation cards are designed exactly for moments like this — beautiful, portable, and ready to spark the kind of conversations you'll still be talking about next week.